Today was just one-of-those-days. Sigh. We all have them, right? Right?! Well, I think how I will choose to view today is: putting me one step closer to where I want to be. Yes. I am doing my best to turn lemons into lemonade. Well, come on, let's get real... I'm trying to turn a sh*t sandwich into a dirty martini. All I wanted all day was to come home and be alone. That feeling of just being able to live in my own head for a little bit. No distractions, no running around, no phone calls and emails. Well, that is what I am giving myself.
Tonight is actually the first night in a long time - maybe ever - that I have come home from work and not turned on the TV. I just knew that I needed some insight, some inspiration and although my best friend, TV, may have lightened my mood, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be any better off at the end of the night. I am allowing myself to just be with my own thoughts for now. Well, my thoughts and Oprah's. I picked up the June issue of "O" Oprah Magazine earlier tonight. As I stood in the grocery store (buying everything I forgot last night) I thought to myself, 'Who can give me some words of wisdom while in Stop & Shop?' Obvi, my girl Ope.
I sit here with my adult beverage - you know I needed that - and I am feeling my heart slow down, in a good way. It's actually a beautiful night in Boston, warm but with just enough breeze so I am not sweating and forced to turn on the air conditioning before Memorial Day. I finally feel like I have a few minutes to think about what I want to do with my life. AH. The age old post-college question. Ultimately, I know what I want to do, my challenge is getting the courage to take the risk to actually do it. Also, there is a financial impact for me and as much as I would love to think I am above such materialistic obstacles, I am not. I have a mortgage and a car payment and oh yeah, credit card debt and damn that bathing suit I bought a Bloomies on my store charge and oh right, my crazy cell phone bill (I love you iphone!) and that thing called a life. Like, where I eat and drink and buy items to keep myself clothed. So, with all that, it's scary to make a big decision, one that could end up back firing. But the one and only Ope has saved my night...
The article in "O" that caught my attention is an interview with Oprah and her bestie Gayle, entitled "One Incredible Journey". They reminisce about Ope back in the day, when she realized she was like, super famous and also some of her favorite episodes. Gayle pushed Oprah to explain what her favorite show symbolizes and this is what made me pause and gave me some hope.
It speaks to the essence of what the show has tried to say all these years: that you are not a product of your circumstances. You are a composite of all the things you believe, and all the places you believe you can go. Your past does not define you. You can step out of your history and create a new day for yourself. Even if the entire culture is saying, "You can't." Even if every single possible bad thing that can happen to you does. You can keep going forward.To read the full article online, click here.
Really, can we just call her Hope-rah? Maybe I will leave the TV off more... well, until True Blood is back on.
Nighty-night world... I'll see you tomorrow.
Love, Lizzie
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