Yeah, That Happened

Why not come back with a bang?  In the event that you ever wonder, does that stuff really happen?  I am here to tell you, this actually happened to me.  So, after months (a year?) of back and forth with Man-Child it's been a few weeks of much needed silence.  Until I found out on Sunday that one of my girlfriends ran into M.C. the day before and he wouldn't stop talking and asking about me.  Hmph.  Ok.  Well, that's interesting because I haven't heard from him, but that's not actually the point here.  I would be lying though if I said I didn't wonder about why he was so interested in my personal life since he made it clear he didn't want to be part of it.  So, a girls mind wanders and I found myself daydreaming... about nothing over the top, but still spent a little too much time on it for those two days.  Well, that daydream came colliding with reality on the #7 bus Monday night after work.  I was getting on the bus and I saw a guy who looked familiar but I couldn't pinpoint how I knew him.  I proceeded to get on the mostly empty bus and sat towards the front when Familiar-Man and his lady friend sat right next to me.  The first thing that he says to Lady Friend is, "So, yeah, Man-Child called me today.  I hadn't talked to him in a few weeks."  Uhhh, homey say whaaaa??  Clearly they have no idea who I am.  I nearly choked on my Werther's Original that I grabbed from our Reception desk on my way out.  So, now Familiar-Man begins to unravel every detail of "my" Man-Childs weekend.  Including M.C. running into my friend and oh yeah, going away with his new girlfriend.  Yes, his new girlfriend picked up the mid-day drunk Man-Child and they went away for the night.  Must have been romantic.

A not-so-rare species: The Manius Infantus

What are the odds of this???  No, really... I felt like I had on an invisible suit and was listening to Santa talk about trolling the local bars for chicks or something.  The whole thing was just wrong.  I must have been sweating but in my state of black out shock I can't be sure.  I still don't know how I managed to even remain on the bus.  Every molecule of my body wanted to run the hell down Summer Street into Boston Harbor and drown myself.  So, not only is my head spinning because here I am thinking Man-Child was asking about me - la-di-da - but I am now terrified Familiar-Man is going to say something about me!  I was convinced he was going to say something like, "Oh God, remember his old girlfriend?  What an ugly lame a*s she was."  I mean, I don't know!  This was twilight zone territory.  Chris Harrison could have strolled onto the bus and told me I didn't receive a rose and I should say my goodbyes and I wouldn't have been more stunned.  I was in a tizzy.  Tizzy.  I rarely get caught off guard or worked up but this freaky invisible suit situation knocked me for a loop.  Of course I went home only to draft catty, snarky texts to Man Child with every intent to shock, mortify and sadden him.  However, that's not the general behavior of my mature (sober) self so I took knee.  You know, when you're not like, totally out of the game, but you just need a hot minute to catch your breath.  My sister and I take knees a lot in life.  Often physically, which thanks to that Goody-Two-Shoes now looks like Tebowing.  Ugh.  Side track, sorry.  Take a knee if needed, all I'm saying because it worked for me that night.  I realized I don't care about Man-Child.  Texting him my sarcastic, witty messages wasn't going to get me anywhere.  That is not a situation worth fighting for.  So, I chose to focus on some of the best advice I ever heard - living well is the best revenge.  And that my friends, is the plan.  Keep living my life, feel good and laugh, A LOT.  What's better than that?

So, the next time you think to yourself, that only happens in cheesy rom-coms starring Anna Farris (my fave kind), just picture me nearly vomiting on the Boston MBTA bus.  Lessons learned - always take a knee before sending a text you think is genius and always take the high road, even with a Man-Child.

Love, Lizzie xoxo